


If Only in My Dreams

by BasicallySnakespere



Series: inspired by songs [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: >;3, Angst, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Part 2, have fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:21:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28091583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BasicallySnakespere/pseuds/BasicallySnakespere
Summary: part 2Christmases before Virgil left were very different from the ones after he left.Janus knows which ones he prefers.
Series: inspired by songs [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2057838
Comments: 8
Kudos: 29





	If Only in My Dreams

If you asked Deceit about Christmas, he’d immediately insist that they had no time for something as trivial as Christmas, and they were all much too busy for such a thing. If you looked a little closer, you might just notice his eyes glaze over a little bit, as he allows himself a moment to remember.

Before Virgil left, Christmas in the dark side was a quiet affair. They’d all curl up on the couch together, limbs tangled together as they grumbled about personal space. They’d watch Nightmare Before Christmas because it was Virgil’s favorite movie, especially since Janus and Remus had worked together to make him those posters for Christmas last year. Then as the end credits rolled, they’d give each other the gifts they’d made or gotten for each other.

The final year they’d had with Virgil had been one of Janus’s favorites, perhaps made more so once he found out it was the last.

Janus had gotten Virgil a new stim toy for when he got anxious and made Remus a stuffed rat, one that was durable enough to survive the chaotic twin, hopefully. In return, he’d been gifted a new hat, (Virgil) and a stuffed snake, (complete with two dicks! Remus would add on excitedly.) He wouldn’t admit it, but he felt happy, and safe, cuddled in the dark next to the two people who meant more to him than anything, short of Thomas himself. 

The first year without Virgil, they didn’t leave their rooms much at all. They didn’t cuddle on the couch, Jack and Sally never graced their cracked TV screen. Janus still woke up Christmas morning to a wrapped box waiting outside his door, his own gift to Remus delivered the night before. Inside there was a simple framed drawing, clearly of Janus and Remus, along with a note.

I’m not going anywhere snakey, we’ll stick together through it all.

He curled up on the floor, holding back sobs as he pulled a small purple box from his pocket, a gift that he would never give now. 

Inside was a simple slip of parchment, a single word scrawled on its surface.

Janus

Maybe his name was a stupid gift. 

Virgil wouldn’t think so.

If you asked Janus, he hated Christmas, not because of any of his previous reasons. He hated it because now it simply existed to remind him of how he’d lost one of the most important people in his life. How Virgil now resided up there, happier than he’d ever been down here, and how he’d never be able to give him the simple, but oh so meaningful gift, of his trust.

He had a home, but it was broken, and there was nothing he could do to fix it.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, there's part two!
> 
> thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed the shit my brain manages to come up with when I should be sleeping :)


End file.
